Breaking up with a boyfriend is always difficult, especially if it wasn’t your idea. If you really want to get an ex boyfriend back, though, here is a little advice on how to do it.

First, rethink if this is really what you need and want. Give yourself some time after the break-up to let your emotions calm down to make sure you really want to get back with the old boyfriend. Was it an emotionally and rewarding relationship for you? Was there abuse of any kind? What did your friends and family think of him?

After cross-examining yourself and becoming convinced you want to win him back, here are some tips for doing just that:

1. Think over why your prior experience with this guy didn’t work. If those problems can’t be resolved, there’s no use trying a relationship again. Be honest with yourself as the changes required may involve both of you. Woman have a tendency to think that a boyfriend will “get better” over time. Don’t fall into that trap. If you’re going to get him back, you’re going to have to take him the way he is now, and will likely have to live with him the way he is now, warts and all.

2. Let him know clearly that you are interested, at some point, in getting back together and then back off. Let him have some time to himself. Don’t be calling, texting or tweeting, except for an occasional, slightly sweet note to keep in touch. He needs to know that you are leaving him alone, but are still there for him.

3. Use this time to stay in shape, eat the right foods, and keep looking your best. Fight the urge to launch into a pity party and reward yourself with too much food or drink.

4. Keep your chin up. Moping around will not bring him back.

5. Keep busy and develop some new interests of your own. Meet new people and do new things. You can’t let him think that you are waiting for him to call. This will go a long way in improving your self-esteem and attracting his attention.

6. After some time has passed, let him know, in almost a casual way what you think of the break-up – what went wrong and why it shouldn’t have happened.

7. When and if, you meet with him and actually start discussing what went wrong and your relationship, be as honest as you can about your own feelings and, if you are sincere in doing so, forgive him for his mistakes. Apologize of course, if you’ve been responsible for hurting him. Being deceptive to yourself or him at this point, will only lead to you wasting more of your time with him – and another break-up in the future. Above all, be a good listener and don’t assume you know what he’s feeling.

Complete honesty, with a healthy dose of caring affection and forgiveness will help you get back into that relationship. If that isn’t enough, then perhaps it was never meant to be – and it is time to move on to someone who deserves you.

Content Copyright 2010, Quality Forensic Solutions, L.L.C. All rights reserved.

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